tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC April 3, 2015 12:36am-1:38am PDT
'cause i will bang this drum ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. thank you, thank you, thank you. awesome. thank you so much. smashing pumpkins! [ cheers and applause ] catch them on tour this summer with marilyn manson. tickets go on sale tomorrow. my thanks to first lady michelle obama, matthew morrison, the smashing pumpkins once again! and the roots right there from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jesse eisenberg -- from "children's hospital" actor/comedian rob huebel -- music from years and years -- featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how are we all doing tonight?
[ cheers and applause ] great to hear. are you guys excited for passover? [ cheers ] if you are, you don't know what passover is. [ laughter ] people been watching the ncaa tournament? any basketball fans here? this is interesting. and nice i thought. all four ncaa final four coaches released a joint statement yesterday, a joint statement saying they don't support indiana's new religious freedom law and condemn discrimination of any kind. [ cheers and applause ] on the other hand, they all admitted that they do not care for short people. [ laughter ] they just don't see their use. they have no use for them. [ applause ] is there anyone here tonight from new jersey? [ cheers ]
well -- [ laughter ] hopefully i'm not the one breaking this news to you. new jersey senator robert menendez said this week that despite being charged with corruption, he's not going anywhere. usually when someone in new jersey says that, it's because the bridge is shut down. [ laughter and applause ] a new report finds that by the year 2050, the number of muslims across the globe will be nearly equal to the number of christians. for more on this story, mention it to your grandpa. [ laughter and applause ] madison -- this is very interesting to me -- madison, wisconsin, has become the first city in the nation to make it illegal to discriminate against atheists. said atheists, "this is the law we've been not praying for."
[ laughter and applause ] you guys like pandas? [ cheers ] we got some panda news for you. two chinese pandas have broken a record for the longest known panda sex session at nearly eight minutes. not only that, but afterwards, they cuddled for almost 20 minutes before he called an uber. [ laughter ] so it was a connection. it was a real connection. [ applause ] any "real housewife" fans? [ cheers ] great. we got like, pandas, passover, "real housewives." that's how it's kinda broke out today. imprisoned "real housewives" teresa giudice says her family visits her in prison but her 5-year-old daughter thinks they're just visiting her at work. [ laughter ]
that's how much the women fight on "the real housewives." her daughter thinks it's just like prison. all, you know -- it seems like if you follow spas, which i do, real spa head. feels like there's always a new spa treatment out there. maybe it's like to me, spa, whew! anyway, a new spa treatment claims that stem cells from an infant's foreskin can be applied to the face. that will be great until you have to pull down on your neck to wash your face. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] make it -- make it that i didn't tell it. go back in time!
[ laughter ] and finally, nicki minaj posted a video yesterday of a crying boy who calmed down once he placed his head on her chest. so if you see nicki minaj, start crying. [ laughter ] you never know. you never know. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how you doing, 8g band? good to see you guys. we mentioned the final four, down to four teams. we are down to four as well here at "late night." couple weeks ago, we collected what we believed were 64 completely random unconnected things. we have had people voting for them online over the last two weeks in what we have been referring to as the "late night tournament of things." ♪ [ applause ]
and now we are down -- we are down to actually our last two in this competition. so you can go online, you can vote for our final two which are bellevue, nebraska, and the note "b" flat. [ laughter ] very exciting. for those -- sometimes i feel like people might not be completely musically in tune. can you guys give me a quick "b" flat just so people know what they're voting on? ♪ great. [ applause ] and then, eli, now if you could tell us everything you know about bellevue, nebraska. >> um, it's in nebraska. >> seth: okay. thank you. you know, we picked things we thought people wouldn't feel strongly one way or the other about. but of course, by picking a town, bellevue, nebraska, those people feel strongly and the people in bellevue, i feel like they're really going online and voting this thing up. if you care at all about "b" flat or if you want to stick it to bellevue, you got to -- you got to get online and vote. so go to latenightseth.com or i think actually any website has this now.
it's that popular. go to anything.com and it will be one of the first things there. obviously it's taking the world by storm. [ laughter ] you guys, we have such an excellent show for you tonight. jesse eisenberg is here. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait to talk to jesse. also from the adult swim series, "children's hospital," the very funny, my friend, rob huebel will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we willll have music from years and years. they are great. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait to hear them. now, we mentioned it earlier, yesterday, new jersey senator robert menendez was indicted on 14 counts of federal corruption, or as it's also known, a new jersey baker's dozen. [ laughter ] menendez was indicted alongside his longtime friend, florida ophthalmologist salomon melgen who allegedly gave the senator over $1 million in gifts in exchange for political favors. menendez gave a statement yesterday and said he was angry at prosecutors.
specifically he was angry at them for not knowing the difference between friendship and corruption. which brings us to our new segment we call "robert and sal: friends forever." ♪ [ applause ] look, everybody needs to relax. all this is to two bros helping each other out. now, according to the indictment, bro one gave bro two $600,000 for his superpac. bro two menendez, sent bro one melgen an e-mail in which he asked him to get him a room at the park hyatt in paris featuring quote, "king bed, work area with internet, limestone bath with soaking tub and enclosed rain shower." because if you know senator menendez, you know he likes to wash himself two different ways, surf the worldwide web and then get some shut eye in a big ass bed. [ laughter ] but of course, your pal gives you something you have to return the favor in what the latins call "quid bro quo." [ laughter ] so what do you get -- [ applause ]
what do you get for the man who provides a limestone bath? visas for his girlfriend. [ laughter ] it's been alleged menendez helped three of melgen's girlfriends, a brazilian model, a dominican model and a ukrainian scientist -- sorry, i read that wrong, ukrainian model -- [ laughter ] to obtain u.s. visas in 2007 and 2008 at which point it's assumed the women came to america, melgen gave them lasik and they all said, "hey, you said you like george clooney." [ laughter ] he looks like george lopez ate george clooney. [ laughter and applause ] far less salacious but possibly more damning is the accusation that menendez pressured the state department to approve a measure that would benefit melgen's interests in a port security deal. which isn't surprising because if there's a first rule of new jersey political scandals, it's there's always a port. "what can i do to get your help in the upcoming election?"
"i'd love your help with the port. love you to help me out with the port." [ laughter and applause ] and that's probably the thing that's most working in senator menendez's favor, he's from new jersey. if the people of new jersey are going to be okay with a governor who make it harder to get across the bridge, they're going to be okay with a senator who makes it easier for models to get into the country. today, menendez pleaded not guilty to all charges and was released without bail. he promised he would be vindicated and could rest easy knowing that even if the charges stick, he will remain no higher than the third worst menendez. thank you, lyle and eric, wherever you are. [ laughter ] prison, right? they're in prison? good. [ applause ] and at the end of the day, guilty or innocent, menendez has the most valuable thing in the world, a good friend. this has been "robert and sal: friends forever." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. you know, i can't help but wonder sometimes just what this -- [ sniffs at air ] [ light laughter ] wait, i -- i'm sorry. i could be wrong here, but i think i smell something burning. and that can only mean one thing. it's time for "ya burnt!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
welcome to the burn zone, everybody. we got a lot of topics to sizzle through, but not a lot of time. over here is the burner. let's turn on the gas and load her up. [ laughter ] first up, easter. easter, when it comes to holiday mascots, you got the creepiest. [ laughter ] here's a tip, easter bunny. get a catchphrase! santa's got "ho, ho, ho." you just stare silently and wave. [ laughter ] you're like a pedophile in a rabbit suit. and what kid is excited about a hardboiled egg? "oooh, i found an old man's lunch." [ laughter ] but here's the good news about eggs. if you don't find them, they smell progressively worse over time. you're not hiding eggs, you're burying fart land mines. [ laughter ] and jews, don't think you're so great with passover. you guys hide matzah, the world's worst cracker. "i did it, mom, i found the other half of that old man's lunch." sideburn, matzah! [ laughter ] >> side-burn matzah! >> seth: also, easter, when are
you? april? may? isn't it enough that you hide the eggs, do you have to hide the actual holiday, too? hey, easter, don't look now but there's egg on your face, 'cause ya burnt! [ applause ] diet soda. a new study found that drinking you leads to increased belly fat. who exactly are you for, people who love chemicals and hate flavor? but hey, at least you have that jammin' aftertaste. i can still taste it and i haven't had a diet soda since 2006. oh, and people who drink diet soda, you're not fancy when you say "i'll have a diet coke with lemon." especially since your previous words were "i'll have a bacon cheeseburger with fries." [ laughter ] diet soda, none of the calories, all of the burnt! [ applause ] scientology. you know you're dangerous when hbo puts the documentary about you directly into the robert durst time slot. [ laughter ] "going clear" detailed your tenacity, your litigiousness, and now that i think about it, i probably shouldn't talk about you. you know what? let's just move on. scientology, ya burnt! or you're not. i don't want trouble.
[ laughter and applause ] duke. congratulations, duke, on advancing to your 16th final four. we're so happy for you, duke. watching duke win is like watching an '80s teen movie if the rag tag group of poor kids lost to the rich pricks. [ laughter ] go, cobra kai! and by the way, they call him coach k. because every time someone offers him botox, he says, "k." this man is not aging. also, even if duke loses, it's not a good thing. they're still going to be all our bosses someday. side burn, all of us. >> side burn, all of us! [ laughter ] >> seth: hey, duke, time to turn your blue devils red because ya burnt! [ applause ] the knicks city dancers. you cheer on the worst team in the nba, but every home game you get on that court and dance your butts off like they're undefeated. and unlike the knicks, you can't just tank for a better draft pick. it's not like if you dance worse, you get to pick up j-lo next year. and that's why you're this week's unburnable. ascend out of madison square garden, dancers. ♪
[ laughter ] not you, spike lee! [ applause ] allergy season. ah, spring. oh, no, i can't breathe! finally the snow is melting and now the grass is trying to kill me. i'm completely stuffed up, and thanks to meth-heads, it's nearly impossible to get antihistamines at the pharmacy without seven forms of i.d. [ laughter and applause ] it's less paperwork to adopt. allergy season, a-a-a-a-cha-burnt! [ applause ] april fools' day. just what a-holes need -- permission. [ laughter ] i've already got ptsd from the worst winter in history. now i've got to have my head on a swivel, worrying about one of my co-workers making a loud noise when i open a door. also, be creative. don't just be a dick. what's that? my grandmother's on the phone? my grandmother's dead. april fools? [ bleep ] you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] april fools' day, you're the best. april fools, ya burnt.
next up, easter. i already did easter. the graphic's wrong. >> april fools! [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, come on. april fools was yesterday. >> i knew you'd have your guard down. >> seth: all right, get out of here. ah, tax season. that special time of year when every halloween superstore turns into an h&r block. [ laughter ] and hey, irs, if you know how much we owe you, why are you making us do the math? "how much do you think you owe?" you a government agency or a troll with a riddle? [ laughter ] here's how bad you are. most of us get money back and we still hate you. i don't have to wait until april 15th to say this, ya burnt! [ applause ] up next, latchkey kids -- [ buzzer ] that buzzer means we've run out of time. looks like you latchkey kids just escaped the attention of another adult. [ laughter ] this has been "ya burnt." sit tight. we'll be right back with jesse eisenberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight earned an academy award nomination for his role in "the social network." he's also the author and star of the new group's off broadway production entitled "the spoil" which can be seen at the pershing square signature center right here in new york city. previews begin may 5th. please welcome jesse eisenberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ welcome. i'm so happy to have you here. >> thank you so much. so nice to be on your show. >> seth: we got to know each other the week you hosted "snl." that's so much fun. >> yeah, i had a great time, too. in fact, you actually wrote my monologue. the opening monologue. >> seth: yeah, there was a lot going on in that monologue. >> there was. >> seth: because zuckerberg was there. actual zuckerberg. >> that's right. >> seth: sandburg was playing fake zuckerberg. >> yeah that's right.
>> seth: there was a lot of moving parts. >> yes, yes, yes. similar haircuts. different faces. >> seth: yes, and i feel like you're someone who watches "snl." you watched it growing up. >> yeah. >> seth: i got the sense mark zuckerberg did not. >> yes, that's right. it was hard to tell what he was thinking. >> seth: yeah, i remember because he said, basically said along the line, "so what do you do here?" and i said, "well, i don't know. i've done the show for, like, ten years. i guess i don't know." >> that's hysterical. it's so funny, i actually, like, was obsessed with the show when you started and then i moved into an apartment that didn't have a tv. i was like, i probably could have bought a tv, but i didn't. >> seth: yep. >> for the last time i really remembered you on the show watching it obsessively was i think in like your feature player year. so every time i hear your name, i always hear your name after jeff richards' name who was guy who proceeded your name in the introduction. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, that's your memory of my name. >> yes, that's exactly right. i always hear, "and jeff richards." and i think he was only on the show maybe that year. >> seth: yeah, two years i think. >> it's an irrelevant memory for me to have. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm glad, it's always nice when people have irrelevant
memories like that. this is very exciting, for me, and for you hopefully as well. you are playing lex luther in the new "superman" movie. >> mm-hmm. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, i know something like that is shrouded in secrecy, but this photo was leaked. >> right, right, right. >> seth: and you look very menacing. that's really -- >> right, right. >> seth: that's not cgi. you shaved your head. >> that's true, but the face is all computer generated. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. you had to wear ping-pong balls all over. >> exactly. >> seth: was that obviously probably the first time you had a shaved head. how was the experience? >> yeah, i actually came out of the womb with a full head of hair. >> seth: oh, you did? >> yes, i'd never been able to touch my scalp. yes, it's freezing. [ laughter ] yeah, and it's really strange. you know, it's the kind of thing where you feel like i can really damage myself. you want to wear a helmet. >> seth: oh, yeah. i would feel you're very exposed. >> yeah, have you ever shaved your head? >> seth: i've never shaved my head, no. >> yeah, it's terrifying.
terrifying. >> seth: that's makes lex luther seem so much less intimidating. >> i know, i know. [ laughter ] it's terrifying. >> seth: now, i'm thinking about him going, "i feel like anything's going to bang it and now i'm going up against superman and i feel like there's a million things going on." >> "i forgot my helmet. i'm out of gum." >> seth: this i like, but it's back to the secrecy. when you walk around set, you have to, like, hide your head. you mentioned the helmet. it seems like they would have something cool for you since it's a big movie and you're playing lex luther. but, this is -- there you just like, have -- [ laughter ] >> i know. >> seth: how did that happen? it's like e.t. in the basket. [ laughter ] >> exactly, i know. yeah, you think there would be something more threatening than the floral arrangement. >> seth: yeah. >> but, yeah everything is shrouded in secrecy. and the people are shrouded in bandannas. like superman, you know, henry cavill, he'll walk the set in like kind of, like, you know, baggy sweatpants then take it off. >> seth: sure. then nobody can see superman thing. >> exactly, yeah. >> seth: i would also think you'd want to walk the set not in full superman. >> right. >> seth: because superman is so much less interesting if you
have to like stop at craft services and get pasta salad. >> that's true and if there was like somebody in that suit, you'd think he's an insane person. >> seth: right. >> with a camera right in front of his face. >> seth: sweatpants he looks like a human being. >> exactly, right. >> seth: you're an actor obviously, but maybe not everybody knows this, you're also a playwright. this play that we mentioned in the intro is the third play you've written. >> right, right. >> seth: it's called "the spoils." and tell us a little bit about it. >> yeah, "the spoils." it's about five 30-year-olds in new york. three american, one, an immigrant from nepal, one indian-american. but, the story really focuses on like the guy who was the kind of weird outcast who has been alienated from the world. so you kind of see the story from his perspective surrounded by kind of people who are kind of self-adjusted. >> seth: are you the weird outcast? >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] just wondering, i don't know. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i mean it's self-explanatory. >> seth: this is an awesome cast you have as well. it's great. >> yeah, that's kunal nayyar from the "the big bang theory." [ cheers ] annapurna sriram. erin darke.
and michael zegen and myself. >> seth: that's really exciting. now, when did you write this play? >> i wrote this play probably about three years ago. >> seth: gotcha. and what inspired it in the first place? >> it's strange. you go through periods like anybody where you're feeling less good and other periods. the really strange thing about writing a play and three years performing it every night for a number of months, is that i no longer feel those bad feelings because i'm surrounded by nice people. >> seth: right. >> so, you have to put yourself back into this horrible mindset that you were in when you were alone and nobody wanted to work with you so you're writing your own play. >> seth: oh, i see. and so then when it's over, do you have to go find a way to be alone again so you can generate a few play? >> that's exactly right. >> seth: wow, that's really sad. [ laughter ] >> looking for disasters, really. >> seth: you've also written pieces for "the new yorker" which are really funny. >> oh, thank you. >> seth: you're an nba fan. a huge nba fan. >> yes, yes. >> seth: you wrote a piece where marv albert was your therapist. >> right, yeah. >> seth: and then, this led to you meeting marv albert. >> yeah, so i wrote a piece. yeah, it's marv albert is my therapist. so, it's a guy in therapy and marv albert is my therapist. so i'm saying like, you know,
i'm feeling -- my mother came to visit me. and he says, "from downtown." [ laughter ] you know it's like, he's saying all of his, you know, basketball catchphrases. and he comes off as like a very unsympathetic therapist. >> seth: yeah. >> and i was worried that he would be offended by it. but he wasn't. he called me and asked if he could record it together. so, we did an audio recording. and it was the coolest thing. so, the next thing i wrote, was a piece, was a dialogue between me and carmelo anthony, thinking like, well, you know, it happened the next time. [ laughter ] so, my next best friend is going to be carmelo anthony. and, never got a call. >> seth: no. >> no. >> seth: but, you have met some nba flayers. you did a couple movies in detroit. >> right, so i got to meet andre drummond. >> seth: so andre drummund is a very -- how tall is andre drummond? he's 6'10"? >> he's 6'10"-6"11." but the truth, after 6 1/2 feet you stop you know, like -- >> seth: you stop counting, yeah. >> so he's just taller. [ laughter ] and he's the sweetest man. he's so sweet. he told me, he's interested in talking about acting. he wants to take it seriously. you know, i actually asked him, i said, you mean, like, what shaq did or "space jam 2"?
he said, "no, like denzel washington." >> seth: oh, that's great. >> so, i was actually having a serious conversation with this guy which is so great. >> seth: that means there's probably still zero people who said, "i'd like to do acting the way shaq did." >> yes, that is true. [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean, if i could dream. my dream would be the way shaq did it. >> yes, exactly. yes, exactly. >> seth: when you were younger, you also wrote comedy. but, very specifically, -- comedy? >> yes, yes, yes, yeah when i was, like, 12 years old, i wrote just like yeah sex jokes. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, but no, not sex jokes from the perspective of a 12-year-old boy who had never talked to a woman. no, sex jokes like i have so much sex, dot, dot, dot. [ laughter ] i don't think -- yeah, i didn't know what those jokes meant for another seven years. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] well, i remember when the same. like when you would watch henny youngman as a kid, like, he was who taught me you weren't supposed to like your wife. like all his jokes were like, "take my wife, please." and i would watch my parents be very in love.
i'm like, "why is everybody laughing at the idea that your wife is a nightmare?" >> exactly right. his comedy was probably only sexist at that time. >> seth: we appeared -- i think we both kind of lucked our way into this panel a few years ago. we did the "time" person of the year. i guess mario batali was there. so, he helped as well. [ laughter ] everybody else was really smart people. and we had to sit and basically discuss who we thought the "time" person of the year should be. >> yeah, can i ask you a question? when you got the e-mail you were going to be joining that panel, did you think that -- for a brief second that you were the "time" person of the year? >> seth: oh, for a brief second. yeah. [ laughter ] >> subject line, "hey, guess what? are you available? "time" person of the year." what do you think? >> seth: yes, i'm available. >> yes, of course. my god, i'll cancel something. so right, we were on this panel to choose the "time" person of the year. >> it was like a discussion about who it might be. >> right, you're a very busy person. i'm less so. so like i had weeks to, like, think about this. so, i had every member of my family, every friend. we went back and forth debating.
everybody would bcc'd or cc'd. and then, i came to the panel and they just kind of randomly selected who would give their choice first. and you went right before me and basically said my choice. >> seth: see and i feel terrible, i had no idea. >> no, no, you articulated it better than i could have. and actually, even like the phrasing that you used, i think was the phrasing they -- so it was better. it was better. >> seth: okay, well thank you. if there's a lesson, don't go after me. >> i know, i know, i know. [ laughter and applause ] actually i wanted to do your monologue tonight. >> seth: right, there you go. this is great because you've been acting for a long time. you were in a production when you were younger, in new jersey, yes? >> yes, that's right. >> seth: where it was not a production of "annie." and it was not a protection of "oliver." but, it was a little of both. why? [ laughter ] >> yes. i was in, like, a children's theater group and i guess they couldn't get the rights to "annie" or the rights to "oliver." [ laughter ] so i think, like, i guess the legal compromises to do 49% of one. 49% of the other. and then kind of create this 2% fictional story line where annie and oliver are long lost twins
and meet each other. and so it's a strange story. but in my mind, that's the story. >> seth: that's the reality, yeah. >> of annie and oliver. yes, i know there's just a movie that came out of "annie" and i remember, like, i saw the trailer and just instinctively, you know, this is my memory from my childhood, so i'm thinking, "where is her long lost brother?" [ laughter ] >> seth: i can't believe they're going to do this without oliver. >> yes, exactly. she'll never meet him. >> seth: well, i hope that's the next play you'll write because i think that we all kind of deserve an annie and oliver mash-up. >> would be great. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. jesse eisenberg, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] check out "the spoils" at the pershing square signature center beginning may 5th. we'll be right back with rob huebel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's not about hugging trees. it's not about being wasteful either. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is an emmy-nominated actor and comedian who you know from movies like "the descendents" and "i love you, man" and tv shows like "the league" and "human giant." now you can see him in the very funny show "children's hospital" airing friday nights on adult swim. let's take a look. >> i am on my way to glen's office when i pass the showers. >> dear diary, all of my dreams have come true. like in some kind of a dream.
oh, a statue from the grecian isles. it's full-on nude right now. >> hey, what are you looking at? [ laughter ] hey. nurse beth. i saw you looking at me in the showers. >> your body. it's sparkling. >> probably should have told you. no. >> what? >> we mustn't. mustn't. [ laughter ] mustn't! >> seth: please welcome rob huebel. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how are you, friend? >> i'm great. i feel i should have gotten in shape for that shot.
>> seth: yeah. did they drop it on you last minute? >> they gave me, like, a year's heads-up and gave me a private, personal trainer and all that. but i just blew it off. and yeah, now i'm paying the price. >> seth: i have to be honest, it doesn't really show. i feel like you look real good in that. >> i feel pretty good. i also got real tan for that shot. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, you really did. >> looking real tan right now. i appreciate it. >> seth: i've seen a lot of "children's hospital." that seems different in tone. explain that episode for us a little bit. >> that might be a little bit confusing because that one is supposedly written by, like, the biggest "children's hospital" fan who is also a giant fan of the "twilight" movies. so that's why there's a lot of like, angst and i'm sparkly, and all that stuff. >> seth: i gotcha. so it's sort of a mash-up of "children's hospital" and "twilight." >> that's right. that's right. it's more "twilight" than "children's hospital." you know, like i'm -- i turn into a vampire. spoiler alert, i turn into a vampire. [ laughter ] >> seth: a little late with the spoiler alert. >> i get made love to by a werewolf. >> seth: oh. >> again, spoiler alert. >> seth: so it is --
i mean, this is a dream project for you as an actor. >> my mom is watching this going, "i didn't know that about you." >> seth: such an awesome cast on this show. you guys have been doing it together for a long time. it must be really fun and easy. >> dude, it's the funnest job. is "funnest" a word? >> seth: yeah, it can be. >> anyone can say it. it's a great cast. it's meagan mullally and henry winkler and ken marino and rob corddry and malin akerman, literally the best -- lake bell, like, the best cast in the whole world. and it's so fun because we only shoot it once a year, we shoot it like every june. for, like, four weeks. and that's the only time we can get everyone. and it's just the best job. they're like -- there are no adults there telling us what to do. >> seth: yeah. >> we keep think we're going to get in trouble and we don't get in trouble. >> seth: that's pretty awesome. >> yeah. >> seth: we've known each other -- speaking of a place where there were no adults and we could have -- should have been getting in trouble -- we used to do ucb shows in new york together on sunday nights. and people would go -- you'd have to tell monologues about
your life to sort of inspire the improv scenes. and you told one of my favorite stories of all-time which i think about every time i see you. and i apologize because you don't come out as a superhero in this. >> no. >> seth: this is your scaring your friends story. >> yeah, i love to scare people. that's just sort of my thing. and one time i went on a camping trip with a bunch of friends, and for some reason we had access to like a children's summer camp. >> seth: sure. >> this already sounds like a horror movie. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, that's good. that helps you if you want to scare people. >> yeah. so i thought it would be really funny in i waited until late at night and i was going to scare everyone. so i brought with me a hatchet and a long blond wig and a hockey mask. so i waited until like really late at night, and everyone was in one cabin. so i remember i was standing up on top of this hill looking down on this cabin getting all scary and -- i started running down the hill, like, super fast. and then something, like, knocked me back. i thought i got swatted by a grizzly bear. [ laughter ]
something, like, took my head off, my mask and my hatchet and my blond wig and i was, like, bloody. and i got up and i looked and it was a clothes line for the little kids -- [ laughter ] -- to hang their swimsuits on. and i'd run -- i mean, thank god i was wearing a hockey mask. >> seth: right, yeah. >> so then i just gathered up all my stuff and ran into the cabin, like -- [ growling ] and people were like, "ah!" [ laughter ] >> seth: so it still worked. >> so it worked out. >> seth: you got the outcome you wanted. >> it was pretty scary, yeah. >> seth: we also would have guests come -- guest monologists come to asssscat, and a couple times, chevy chase came. >> yeah. >> seth: which was the biggest deal, especially for our generation. >> oh, man. i mean, i grew up the biggest chevy chase fan. i mean, i really wanted to be chevy chase. my brothers and i -- we knew every line to "fletch" and everything. and so -- i never get star struck. but chevy was at ucb. and we were going to do the show together. and so i thought, "well, i gotta say 'hi' to him." so i went up to him. and i was like, "chevy, i want to say i'm a big fan. i'm rob huebel." and chevy just hauled off and
slapped me across the face. so hard. i mean, it was like -- i saw red. [ laughter ] like, my first instinct was just to be like, defend myself. but then he just kind of made a joke, like, "hey, can't you see i'm talking to somebody, kid?" or something like that. >> seth: right. >> and a lot of people thought, "that's not so cool, chevy," but for me -- he was like my hero so i was like, "that's awesome." [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> i mean, he's a comedy idol. >> seth: slapped by a hero. >> slapped by my hero. and one day if i play my cards right, i'm going to get to slap some young guy, you know? [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. you can say that slap came from chevy chase. paying it forward. >> just paying it forward, bro. >> seth: you just got married. congratulations. >> i did. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i met your beautiful wife backstage. >> very beautiful. i got very lucky. she's very beautiful. >> seth: we both did. we both got very lucky. people shouldn't marry dummies like us. >> people should not marry dummies like us.
>> seth: i have to ask, because i was on the fence throughout my wedding. did you cry at the wedding? >> well, that's a great question. i was very nervous about it because -- did you write your own vows? >> seth: i did. >> yeah, i feel like you got to, right? >> seth: these days you got to. >> you've got to, guys. write your own vows. don't be a jerk. [ laughter ] we wrote our own vows. i was doing that thing all week of practicing in the mirror so you don't cry. but i would just be like -- [ crying ] just practicing. melting down in my own bathroom, you know? so i started to seek advice from friends of mine, and i was just getting bad advice from people like how to avoid crying. like riggle said, "just imagine --" my buddy, rob riggle said, "just imagine everybody naked." that's terrible. like, my mom is going to be in the front row. her mom. >> seth: that's bad advice. >> another friend of mine said, "just imagine all the fights that you're going to have, and then you won't cry because you'll be mad." [ laughter ] >> seth: bad advice.
>> by the way, i'm friends with like vinny barbarino. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> but, yeah, that's also bad advice. >> seth: he was mad at you for the sweat hogs. "you're not supposed to get married." >> "why'd you leave the sweat hogs?" so finally lake bell -- lake bell, who is on "children's hospital," is so smart, and she gave me the best advice. she said, "you know, it's really the first time in your life when you can be there for your spouse. it's the first time." and she said, "you know, you'll just feel it and, like, you really want to show up for them and you'll be strong in the moment." i thought, "that's great advice." so as i was doing my vows, i was remembering that and it was going great and i looked -- right over my shoulder was lake bell just bawling. [ laughter ] just, just melting. and i was like, "well, the advice worked for me. didn't work for you." >> seth: but you held it together. you kept it together. >> i held it together. i cried a little bit at the end just, like, one tear of blood. you know? >> seth: oh, got ya. that's stress blood. >> and i haven't gotten it checked out. i think i'm fine. >> seth: yeah, you're probably fine. i think you're great.
and congratulations. so it's been good to have you here. >> thank you for having me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you so much, rob. such a pleasure. rob huebel, everyone. "children's hospital" airs friday nights on adult swim. we'll be right back with music from years and years. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it.
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mt. hso was the oregon coast,t. the columbia river gorge and the painted hills. smith rock and the wallowas are all missing. whoever named the seven wonders never set foot in oregon, because even crater lake was left off their list. so we see your wonders world, and raise you seven of our own. the seven wonders of oregon. see one, or better yet, see them all.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. tonight's musical guests are a london-based electronic pop trio with a number-one hit in the uk that has racked up over 10 million views online. here to perform "king," please welcome years and years. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i caught you watching me under the light can i realign they say it's easy ♪ ♪ to leave you behind
i don't want to try co-cover take that test hold coverage ♪ ♪ to your chest don't want to wait for you don't want to have to lose all that i compromised ♪ ♪ to feel another high i've got to keep it down tonight and oh ♪ ♪ i was a king under your control and oh i want to feel ♪ ♪ like you've let me go so let me go ♪ ♪ ♪ don't you remember how i used to like being on the line
i dreamed ♪ ♪ you dreamed of me calling out my name is it worth the price co-cover take that test ♪ ♪ hold coverage to your chest don't want to wait for you don't want to have to lose ♪ ♪ all that i compromised to feel another high i've got to keep you down tonight ♪ and oh i was a king under your control ♪ ♪ and oh i want to feel like you've let me go i had to break myself ♪ ♪ to carry on no longer no admission take this from me tonight oh let's fight ♪ ♪ oh let's fight oh let's fight oh ♪
♪ >> carson: what's up, everybody? welcome to "last call" from skyroom in new york. i'm carson daly. coming up, above and beyond performs from the forum, writer/director alex garland is in spotlight, and right now we're going sit down with the extraordinarily talented star of "the lizzie borden chronicles." this is christina ricci on "last call." ♪ i like people that do things that you're just like, "wow, i hadn't thought of that." i've always been the kind of person that wants to see what happens next. so, evenhe